Toxic Loyalty

A raw and painful story witnessed firsthand – watching someone love a person who slowly destroyed them. Trapped by loyalty and hope, they stayed in a relationship full of pain and betrayal. This song reflects the heartbreaking struggle to hold on and the desperate need to break free from toxic love.

Lyrics:

Verse 1
I thought you were the light in my dark
But you lit a fire, just to watch me burn
Your words were sweet, but poisoned slow
I drank it down – now I can’t say no

Chorus
I want out, but I can’t break free
Tied to a lie that’s killing me
You say you’ll change, then twist the knife
Still I stay – this is my life

Verse 2
You smile like nothing’s ever wrong
While I bleed inside, trying to hold on
You say you love me, but it feels like chains
Wrapped in guilt and whispered blame

Pre-chorus
I gave you all, I had no line
Now I'm the wreck you left behind

Chorus
I want out, but I can’t break free
Tied to a ghost that won’t let me be
You say you care, then let me fall
Still I crawl, through it all

short Riff/Solo

Bridge
I sleep beside a stranger’s face
Your kiss still stings, your voice still chafes
This loyalty - it’s not love, it’s a cage
I’m done being calm. I’m drowning in rage

Solo

Chorus
I want out, but you pull me in
Loyal to the hurt, again and again
You swore you’d change, but I finally see
This isn’t love - it’s killing me

Outro
Still I stay... still I stay...

Story behind the song:

Toxic Loyalty is about the kind of love that doesn’t heal, but destroys – the loyalty that binds someone to pain, long after hope should have died. On the surface, the song sounds like a confession from a broken relationship: betrayal, promises that never last, chains of guilt and control. But beneath it lies a deeper story – the one I lived.

The lyrics speak of sweet words turned to poison, of chains disguised as care, of a cage mistaken for love. Each line reflects the cycle: hurt followed by empty promises, rage swallowed by silence, loyalty twisted into captivity.

For me, this song is not about a partner I once had. It is about my mother, who – in her final years – bound herself to a man whose drinking and cruelty destroyed not only her life, but mine as well. He filled the house with lies, bottles hidden in laundry baskets and drawers, even drinking what wasn’t meant to be drunk when nothing else was left. He hurt her, again and again, and every time I helped her leave, she took him back. In choosing him, she also unchose me.

It took me years – and eventually treatment for PTSD – to understand how deeply that betrayal marked me. My mother should have been my shield, but instead she chose the man who broke us both. That wound became one of the foundations of the mask I built, the shield I carried, and the silence that trapped me.

The imagery of the track is mirrored in its artwork: a man sits in the corner, head bowed, while heavy chains erupt from his body, dissolving into black and green smoke that fills the room. It is the perfect symbol of toxic loyalty – the way devotion can rot into something poisonous, how love can turn into a prison.

This is the essence of Toxic Loyalty:
Not love, but a cage.
Not loyalty, but chains.
A devotion so strong it destroys the very life it should protect.